That just kills you twice

2 Samuel 2:14-16   14 Then Abner said to Joab, “Let’s have some of the young men get up and fight hand to hand in front of us.” “All right, let them do it,” Joab said.  15 So they stood up and were counted off—twelve men for Benjamin and Ish-Bosheth son of Saul, and twelve for David. 16 Then each man grabbed his opponent by the head and thrust his dagger into his opponent’s side, and they fell down together. So that place in Gibeon was called Helkath Hazzurim.  

My kids love watching an animated movie called “Bee Movie.” One of my favorite dialogues in the movie comes when Barry [the bee] has just messed up the planet real bad by stopping the work of bees completely.  Everyone is mad at him and his friend Vanessa [the human florist.]

Barry: How about a suicide pact?

Vanessa: How would we do it?

Barry: I’ll sting you, you step on me.

Vanessa: That just kills you twice.

It certainly would have been a stupid way to die for Barry.  Fortunately for him, Vanessa didn’t go through with it.  The guys in 2 Samuel, however, weren’t so fortunate – they died a stupid death.  Abner and Joab didn’t get along real well.  One of them was following David and the other was following Saul’s son.  So they decided to pick twelve guys from each side to fight and see who had the stronger team.  The twelve guys from each side simply stabbed each other at the same time and all 24 died.  Senseless, I tell you.  So now you’ve got 24 dead guys laying on the ground and nobody’s happy.  So they all break out in a fight.

Wasn’t there a better way to solve their issues than to start killing each other?  It seems like that’s what humanity’s gut reaction is to disagreement.  It has happened throughout all history.  This country is ticked off by this country so country A declares war on country B.  Death ensues and somebody loses a brother, a son, a husband, and a friend.

Before you get all bent out of shape, you should know this is not a commentary on war.  It is a commentary on our tendency to jump to a fight.  We do it without daggers and spears, too.  We do it with words.  Our husband says something we don’t like and speak out words like daggers.  He returns the dagger and you both die a little.  Why must we respond with death to the people we love?   Because even if you win the argument, damage has been incurred.  When we seek to destroy those who we love, it might hurt them… but it really does just kill you twice.

One thought on “That just kills you twice

  1. “Our husband says something we don’t like and speak out words like daggers. He returns the dagger and you both die a little.” True that!!! and kills our marriage a lot!!! I have been reading how to love your husband without loosing your mind, I bet there is one for men too about their wives ! The book said “you have the power to minimize the hurt by acting and reacting in ways that honor your husband and God. Respectfully. You have the power to shorten the conflict and help your husband feel honored in the process. Your part is thinking through your tone, your nonverbal cues, your word choices and your timing.” Saying to me we can hurt people sooo many ways and in turn kill our relationships and friendships. I know for me it is so hard for me to not grab that dagger and pierce it in when he says blunt comments that hurt my feelings… I am sensitive…. And the same when I low blow him with disrespect when I do not get the answers I want. Even if you feel like you are always the one to give up…. It’s worth it sometimes to end the fight before it even began.

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